it has been 34days (:
i admit the world's like crashing down ever since you left/ i really dont know what to do. this is the first time i ever felt so worst can. sighs. i hope i can run away from everything now if only i have the money now, i'll go to wherever the earliest plane gets me to then stay there and never come back.
believe apart of me is died to accept the fact that you're no longer mine, no longer have the right to care/text you/spending time tgt. i hate leen she make me realise is not right anymore. i knew that there is nth much i can do alrdy.
spended our last day on 8may which is 893hrs ago. didnt knew it will be the last day i am see-ing you. after 3day we broke off again. sighs. but i really did my best,i really did put everything to make releationship work. somehow not that enough,not that strong then what you have put and did.
i dont want be sad either,now i've got so much so much to tell you. but i know all those come out from from my mouth is gonne be smth to be explained to be trouble. tried writting letting, didnt work,yet the reply was a hurtful one. well,doesnt matter you will read this or not.
being someone you are and you belong to,understanding and happy go lucky one. knowing no one have the rights to care what you do or who you are,but they can advised you. really dissapointed to see you being like that,as a friend or a family member of yours. guess alot of ppl have take the initiative trying to talk to you. but you just screw them off. why do you have to be like that?what you trying to show?who changes you?do you earn anything being like that?perhaps it hurts you even. is not just you,the whole grp can i say? miss the past our grp use to spent time tgt. but the old ppl to the whole grp is just nth now.
jiejie ask me how is things between me and him,i still cant bring myself to tell her everything,yet been running away,or lying to myself. cause i dont know how to explain to her. but i guess she know some of it,she came read my blog. she has been asking me lots of stuffs and questions that i couldnt answer and yet all i did was tearing. i found out i couldnt take it anymore. cause i see you getting worst each day,and i couldnt help at all as a friend.
i really thought leaving you alone to think is a better way,but no. everything is no longer the same,as i said i kept on explaining and apologising like even drowning myself in but no response. i dont know what i did wrongly. yet throwing away girls pride. this releationship taught me alot about how love come and go. to understand what a guy wants. perhaps other ppl is luckier to be back again,but they do have alot of problems too. i can see. i believe promises you said dont meant to be broken. no ones wants it too. nowdays when things come,i would have two thought on my mind before deciding,this is better so that i wont regret. cause i alrdy regret alot alot alrdy.
i've been looking back to memories every night. been thinking. been learning. have understand alot too. everything is over now. maybe from the start i should have let go,but i thought holding it will at least have the hope. but i was wrong again. i can see,you done your best too. i cant take the heart to blame you. is me that do not appreciate you when you were present,yet when you are gone and is too late alrdy. never been a guy who treat me that nice that i cant forget.
take lots of care of yourself out there.
i wouldnt be there and all,
but you shld know how i still feel.
yup,as i said i'll be contented,
if you're happy (:
& i'll let my words be few/
and if i have another chance,
or i fall for other guys,
i will treasure,
and not let go again.
learn to be a better girlfriend ((:
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